24 october 2006 — publications
Dennis versus The Sauna Book

Hello! I’m Dennis, a young graphic designer who’s just got his first job. I still live at my parent’s house. When I have nothing to do, I pass my time rearranging my life, from student life to working life. In this case: rearranging my bookshelf. While I was doing this, my eye caught some smuthers on the cover of my beloved “Read naked” book. I think it was already this dirty when I bought it (at a fashion store, which explains), but it never bothered me this much. I decided to go clean the book in the bathroom. I rubbed it carefully with wet paper tissues. Also, I wetted some inside pages with hot water to read some hidden text, so the book got too humid to just put it back on the shelf. One of the suggested ways to dry the book was: “Microwave oven: 5-10 minutes, full power.” And actually, me being hasty, I didn’t read the rest of the line which warned: “Although the publisher succesfully tested this method, it is not recommended.”

So: 10 minutes, full power…


I didn’t want to confront my parents with a strange story about washing and microwaving books, so I spent half an hour blowing, switching on the cooker hood, opening all windows and doors, running around flapping my arms, driving the smell of baked book out of the kitchen before they returned home. My copy of “Read Naked” now has a brown stain on almost every page, starting from the middle. I can’t even keep it on the bookshelf anymore, because it still smells like shoes on a barbecue.